Sunday, July 20, 2008

A simple decision

Making decisions is part of people’s lives. Whether it is a big or a small one, a difficult or an easy one, a short term or a long term decisions are dealt with different measure. Have you ever woke up in the morning and the first thing in your mind was a decision to be made? Or one morning when you open your eyes, you just had this funny feeling that you have never thought you would have?

I am never a spontaneous person. I have difficulties in making decisions in my life. I find it hard to choose between A or B. Because I know I have always chosen the wrong thing and choosing would mean I am making a mistake. That is one thing that I am always afraid of in life…making a mistake.

Yes, making mistakes will make you wiser and stronger. Experiences will teach you to be a better person so you know what lies along the bad direction for you to choose the right one. But I am afraid of losing, because for me, failure will only weaken the strength and barren the learning phases. At the point you get up from your deep fall, you’ll realize you have lost all the moment in time and there is no way you could turn back.

Being too conscious of making the wrong decisions, I have in fact making constant mistakes in my 25 years of life. Just when I thought I am back on track, I kept on seeing it coming through my way. Then another question reached my satiated head. Upon realizing my mistake, should I respond? But if I do, I might regret, and if I don’t I will suffer. I have been standing stagnant in my life facing one predicament that I have never had an answer to.

But maybe today I have changed my fate in some ways. And it takes only a tiny affair to snap. It may seem unfair on the surface. But accumulation will make it impartial. And I should stand on my own two feet to trust my own gut feeling. Maybe I live and think better if I am 7000 km away from home…

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