Starting again?

Everytime I want to start writing again, then something stopped me. Then I miss writing, then I start again, then another thing stopped me. And it goes on and on.

My life update before I start with more writing...

Imaan Iris is now 3 years 4 months old

My little Amaal Jasmine is now 1 year 3 months old.

So occupied with these two kiddos that I don't have much time to write. Writing is like talking to myself, I loooooveeee talking to myself. I do that all the time when I am driving alone. But of coz the difference between just verbally talking and writing is that, I can always go back to my blog and remember what is it that I was telling myself at that time.

At this particular time actually I miss papa.

So much. Wish he could see my babies grow up.

Al-fatihah.

The passing of my papa

I have not blogged about this. Mainly because I do not know where to start.

I don't know if I should talk about his sickness. Or should I talk about the time when we got to know that he had only months of surviving. Or should I talk about the fact that I was pregnant while we got to know. Or about our effort in finding suitable living donors for him. And that my husband volunteered to be tested as donor. My divided heart to save my father or to stop my husband from that operation risks so that he could see our unborn child. Our quest back and forth to Singapore to get medical assistance. Shall I talk about my frustration that I could not take care of my own sick father because I have a newborn that needed my attention. I don't know if I should talk about the last 10 days that all of us had together at the ICU SJMC. Our feeling when we knew he had only days. My feeling to see his last breath.

I really don't know where to start.

But I just would like to express my utmost gratitude to all my family members, my husband that has been the great man he is, trying to balance his time between my dad and my baby, my other family members, aunties, uncles, cousins, my other extended family...for being at the hospital everyday throughout the last 10 days of his breath. His beloved MCKK friends that came to the hospital everyday during the last 10 days, I cannot imagine the love that they had for him is just so great. My in laws for being there always, helping to take care of my kids so that I can go into the ICU to be with my dad. And one thing that I am forever grateful to a nurse at the cardiac ward level 2 opposite the ICU, who helped to hold my newborn at 3am in the morning so that I could go in to the ICU to be with papa when he took his last breath. I am forever thankful to Allah for keeping me strong, for giving the best antibody to my newborn, so that she can be with me at the hospital during the first 40 days of her life.

I watched him go. And I watched him smile before he go. And held his hands and kissed him goodbye. He will always be in my prayers, in my mind, and there is a little place in my heart that will be his forever, the first man I ever loved. And he said during my wedding that I will always be his little girl. That, I will always be.

I wish I can still hug and kiss you like that. And sit on your lap like that.

I love you, papa. Semoga tenang di sana. Semoga rohmu adalah bersama orang orang yang beriman di samping Allah s.w.t. Semoga diterima segala amalannya, Ameen.

I shall blog more about my memory of him so my daughters will know him as how I do.

When I ask Imaan where is atok? She would say "dekat syurga"
Ameen.

Amaal jatuh katil

It is nerve wrecking just to read the title right?

Yes, Amaal fell from the bed at 8 month old. Who else can share experience with me other than my beloved FB followers.

It happened last week when I was down with fever. On normal nights, I usually don't sleep well, don't really remember how good it feels to really sleep since 3 years ago. Especially with Amaal.

Amaal is a good baby who doesn't cry at night for milk. She will just start to move a little bit and I can hear her when she does that and I will wake up and feed her. Every night since she was born she never cry at night for milk. I just know..it is mother's instinct. But that night....... my instinct failed me after I took my medicine. I just dozed off and went flat.

Out of sudden, in the middle of the night I heard a loud boom on the floor immediately followed by Amaal crying. I woke up but my heart was racing to the sound. I saw her lying face down on the floor and she was crying oh so loudly. My heart sank. No! CRUSHED!

She was inconsolable for a while until I offered to feed her. She straight away sleep while suckling. I cried looking at her and I felt like banging my head on the wall while hubby googled to find out what can we do in the wee hours.

Hubby told me to wake her up don't let her sleep, open her eyes to see if they are red, to check for internal bleeding. Alhamdulillah there was none and she was quite responsive when I tried to open her eyes. I looked at the clock, it was 2.30am. I let her sleep in my arms, and didn't sleep the rest of the night.

Believe me when I said I just watched her sleep. It got me thinking how on earth did she fall from the bed. We sleep on a king-sized bed, just the two of us and only covered half of the bed. I put hard pillows on her other side and as I watched her sleep I noticed that she doesn't move much. The most would just be turning to the other side, she doesn't stray far from me. She is not like Imaan who sleeps all over the place. She remained at her spot until morning. I wonder how.

So anyway, I waited patiently for the morning to come to see if she was gonna be weak or active. She woke up with this smile.

How beautiful she is. Just look at her.

She was laughing and playing and calling people and babbles more than she ever had. I still took her to see the paed though just to be satisfied with myself.

The paed checked her eyes for internal bleeding, checked her responses, checked the head, the breathing everything she could check. It was a thorough check. She said that Amaal looks fine. Just a bit of bum on her forehead due to the fall but worry not, the skull at the forehead is very strong.

I was told to monitor her closely for 24 hours for the following symptoms:
1. Vommit
2. Less eat/milk
3. red eye
4. crying/uneasy/cranky for no reason
5. change in behaviour
6. weak and do not response
7. Fever

If any of the symptom above appear within 24 hours, I have to rush her to the ER. Otherwise, she will be fine.

That was the longest 24-hours of my life! I didn't sleep until the I passed the 24 hours. And I thank Allah that everything was ok. Syukur Ya Allah.

By the way out of 20 comments in my fb post about this incident, only 3 person gave me advices (shows that it never happen to them). The rest actually shared that it happens to all their children/child, some for many times.

I feel very normal. :)
 
 

My second princess: Amaal Jasmine Binti Muhamad Shazali

Amaal is now close to 8 months old. And only now I have the time to update the labour story. I have been so busy with these two kiddos, can't even open my lappie at home.

I love to reminisce especially remembering the birth of my children. I was at 36 weeks when Dr Noraini told me the baby seemed big, since I insisted on normal delivery if possible, she suggested to induce out the baby. She wanted the pregnancy to pass 37 weeks to ensure baby has matured and ready to go out. Baby was 3.2kg at that time. She was worried if the baby is big and I force for normal delivery and finally if I find that I couldn't and have to opt for czer, I will have to go through both kinds of labour with two cuts, down and up at the belly. So she was very adamant for me to force the labour once I pass 37 weeks.

I went to see Dr Noraini again at 37 weeks, but the baby has not engaged. I told the doctor to wait another week, I was hoping for natural labour to come. On and off, I was admitted at the hospital because baby started to either move very slow or did not move at all. At 38.5 weeks, when I went for my weekly checkup, baby was already 3.6kg. My first daughter was born at 3.4kg, so that was the maximum I guess I didn't want to wait for her to be any bigger than that. That was when I decided to induce my labour. My decision was based on:

1. I have no history of czer (Moms with history of czer, can go into czer op again after inducing the baby. That is what I heard. Not sure though)
2. I have passed 38 weeks (estimation of minus 2 weeks is 36 weeks, at least it is considered a term baby, not a premature)

I knew she was ready for the world. I just knew.

On 26 January 2015, I was admitted to SDMC in the evening, so I can be ready to be induced early morning the next day.

So I had my feast that evening, nasi lemak, burger, subway you name it!

The next morning, I woke up early and showered, and had my make up on (A MUST!). Lesson learnt, you look like shit after labour. So having make up on, will reduce the shittiness.

Doctor came in at 8am to break my waterbag and she told me to wait half an hour for any natural contraction. I had nothing! So at 8.30 am, I was induced. At this point, I honestly forgot how it felt like the first time with Imaan.

Man, this was fast. It was getting more and more intense by the minute. If I had about 10 hours of labour with Imaan, this time was just about 4 hours. By 11am I was in deeeeep pain and I asked the nurse for pethidine (pain killer that makes you sleep in between the pain). Mind you, the pain still come! It is not like Epidural where you can totally enjoy your labour.Any pain killer must be taken at certain time before certain size of cervix opening. I had mine at 5cm.

The next time the nurse came in for VE, I heard her say 6cm, one hour later, I was in so much pain like she was coming out already. I called the nurse, she checked me again, it was already 9cm. That fast!

The nurses were rushing around calling the doctor and they told me to hold. I shouted and I said I cant wait anymore!!!!!!! I saw the doctor rushing in and started to wear gloves and the boots and I told her, "Doctor, I really cant wait ....."eghhhhhhhhhhh (pushing)!!! Then the doc said "ok ok you can start..." In 3 push, alhamdulillah!!!!!!! A beautiful beatiful chubby baby girl.

Doc took her and put her on my chest, I felt soo warm and heavy. I heard the doc said "This is definitely not 3.6kg!" They weighed her...she was 4.1kg! Alhamdulillah....

Syukur Ya Allah!

I hope its still not too late to wish for Amaal Jasmine and pray for her semoga menjadi anak yang soleh dan penuh amal, as pretty as jasmine!! Secanti dan sewangi namamu. Ameen..

 

Wishlist for my second baby

I am now 8 months preggy...yes one more month..sooo near yet so far. I haven't got anything for my little princess yet, because I have been pretty tied up with a lot of things happening in my family, my dad has been unwell for quite some time, and I am maidless... So I can't even think of going shopping for the baby, not even a second. Although it's going to be another girl, it's gonna be a lot of hand-me-down thingy... but I still have to buy few other things. Those things are either stuff that I still have but still being used by my little Iris, or some things that I have never had with Iris.

The list goes.....

1. Feeding bottles newborn starter pack
2. Bottle detergents
3. Diaper
4. Bath set includes baby towel and bath tub
5. Toiletries set
6. Baby cloth detergent
7. Baby carrier that can use for feeding and normal position
8. Car seat booster (Halford premier  booster) for Iris
9. Butterfly stroller for Iris
10. Nursery bag (Trying to get hubby to buy Kate Spade's) hahahah
11. New bedding set
12. Changing table
13. Baby swaddle zap type
14. Rocking chair/bouncer
15. Breast pump Eve love Lily
16. Some new baby clothing

Banyak jugakkan.

And based on experience with Iris, I just have to prepare a small pack of formula milk JUST IN CASE, and the nipple soothing stuff (cream, nipple shield etc). I can still remember the first few weeks after Iris was born, I was facing problem with breasfeeding such as milk not stimulated well (Iris was not really good at latching), nipple sore and all other sort of things. So just be prepared.

3 more weeks to full term. I can't wait to meet you..

2nd baby: When I got to know

Let's just reminisce the day I found out I was pregnant.

We did plan to have our second baby anytime soon as we THOUGHT we were ready. Every month I constantly calculating my menstrual cycle and put notes on the calendar of the dates that I THOUGHT I should be ovulating. Unfortunately, we never had and never made time to try to conceive during those days. But I kept on calculating every month anyway. And kept on missing it.

I was late for two months. As what happened when I was pregnant with Iris. I missed my period for two months. But with Iris, I checked using the home test kit the first month and it was negative. It only came out as positive the second month. This time, I didn't bother to check the first month I missed my period, but I just tried the second time, without any hope at all because I knew we did not hit any of the ovulating dates. I tested simply because I had one extra kit at home and I thought..oh well.. just use it.

Its the second time, I still suck at reading the results. So it doesn't look negative, but the other line was unclear. I went to the nearest GP and tested my urine AGAIN, and this time supported by a doctor that I was pregnant. I made an appointment to see a gynae in SDMC. This time, I tried Dr Noraini because the earliest date to get Dr Siti (my previous gynae) was weeks after...so long I couldn't wait anymore. I got an appointment with Dr Noraini, she looks like Dr Siti though. But she was way too accommodating than Dr Siti, because you know Dr Siti has too many patients, she cannot afford to spend time talking to you and ask you how you were feeling.

But Dr Noraini actually spend some time while scanning to tell you what she thinks your womb or your baby looks like, and after scanning, she spend some time tell you what to do, what not to do, what to expect, and asked me if I had anything to ask. No rush.

This was my first scan.

She said I have a very nice round sac. Still cannot see the baby it was still really small. But we could hear his heartbeat. Although I missed two months period, the baby's size and the frequency of his heartbeat was actually just 6 weeks. Since I missed two months of period, they don't commensurate at all. So doctor was worried if the baby was under-developed.

Prescribed me with Duphaston to strengthen my womb and to prevent threatened abortion. She told me to stop breastfeeding my toddler and to come back and see her after 10 days to see the baby's growth. If the baby's growth suddenly spurt because of Duphaston, she would conclude that the baby didn't grow well because of breastfeeding. But if the growth is stable and showing 7 weeks of size, then there is nothing wrong, the first month I missed my period was supposed to be negative, just like when I was with Iris.

After 10 days, the result was as the latter. So I didn't need to continue with Duphaston, my womb was alright, and doctor said I could still breastfeed but it is a risk that I had to take. Not everybody can breastfeed while pregnant because breastfeeding brings a different hormone that pregnancy don't need and it will supress the hormone that pregnancy needs. But then again, you see and hear a lot of people even manage to tandem nurse their toddler and baby. But it is an individual risk, and it depends on your body.

So I continued to breastfeed Iris on the grounds that my milk is not her ONLY source of food. She eats a lot of solids and she drinks formula milk too during the day, so she only needs me for comfort and little bit of milk from my body insyaAllah won't harm me and my baby. Our body is smart and it knows when to stop producing milk when you are pregnant. I realise now my body produces very little milk, will not be enough to keep her full. Because sometimes while breastfeeding, she suddenly ask for her bottle because she knows she is not getting enough from me. And after drinking from the bottle, she continued for my breast. That is my little boobie monster, cant get enough of my breasts.

But I do not intend to tandem nurse both baby and Iris. I think it is individual preference. As for me, if God permits I want it to be exclusive for the baby. I don't want Iris to be getting all the milk, because obviously she is the smart one, and the baby for all you know can't even latch properly. And as a result, the toddler gets the milk, and when scarce, the baby has to be fed on formula milk. Happens to some of my friends. But others could be experiencing differently, with tandem nursing, and a lot of demand, you could be producing a lot of milk, who knows right. Again, it is individual preference.

I intend to stop Iris at 6 months-8 months of pregnancy. I will need my maid for that to help me take over Iris at night so she won't go looking for my breasts at night. InsyaAllah...semoga Allah permudahkan. Ameen.  







































  

What's on my mind

I actually have a lot of things to write. To express. I have mixed feeling. Well mostly not a good one.

It's still raya month and honestly, I don't feel raya at all. I have a lot of open houses' invitation but I have only been to one friend's house where I managed to see most of my friends alhamdulillah.

I dunno how do I begin.

I found out I am pregnant, alhamdulillah. Bad morning sickness in the first three months. My toddler getting her tantrum sync in ever since. My maid is on one month leave and not sure if she is coming back. Mom's maid that is supposed to take care of my daughter ran away after one week. Brothers in-law wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl (prolly the only good news so far). First temporary babysitter rejected my daughter on the second day. Found another expensive, troublesome babysitter. Dad diagnosed with terminal illness. That's the latest.

I can't write all these in one entry. I will find time to share n vent out. I will. Coz at times I feel so out of the world. And I just break down and cry.

Semoga Allah kuatkan hati Dan semangat. Ameen.

Gemuk ke Pregnant?



He: Kenapa perut awak nampak buncit?

 

She: Hello..in case you forgot...I am pregnant!!

 

He: Ye laa tapi kenapa buncit tu kat atas, bukan kat bawah?

 

She: Sebab baru nak masuk second trimester, baby blom turun lagi dah daddy!!!

 

He: Oh...

 

Senangnya nak bagi alasan untuk cover gemuk bila pregnant. :p

 

 

Ready for the second one?

I have always wanted to get pregnant. Even when Iris was still 6 months old. Crazy, I know. But everytime I see babies being abandoned on news, my heart aches and I always tell my husband to go check with kebajikan masyarakat if we can take the baby. But everytime, we fail. Of course there are criteria for you to fulfil if you want to take anak angkat, and one of it is you have been married for a certain number of years but still not able to conceive naturally. Memang tak boleh la kan?

So now, the news is...... I am 8 weeks pregnant. Alhamdulillah....syukur!! My Iris is now 1 year and 6 months old. She will be 2y 2m when we see our baby, insyaAllah on 6 February 2015.

Ready or not, it's already in here, babeh!

One thing that I have to do which I am still not ready to do so is.......stop breastfeeding my toddler. Oh my god. Every GP/doctor I see tell me to stop breastfeed instantly. Breastfeeding gives a different hormone and reduces the pregnancy hormone which can cause miscarriage. But of course you hear some people are able to nurse their toddlers throughout the pregnancy period and some even manage to tandem nurse their babies together. But my GP said...it's a risk you are taking. It's individual, some can make it, some cant. And why should I take the risk when my toddler is already more than 1 year and big enough to take the formula milk. That's her argument.

But my argument is.......I just cant stop her.

The question is, am I able to wean my Iris off that easily? Of course not. Although we have been wanting to get pregnant, honestly, we didn't try hard enough to make sure we get pregnant. Cakap je nak tapi tak pernah cuba pun. It's kind of unexpected actually. So of course I never thought about weaning off so soon.

It breaks my heart when my gynae told me to stop breasfeed. And it breaks my heart to see my daughter cries when I refuse to open my shirt for her.

Semoga Allah permudahkan this new journey for me and my babies. Ameen..

Being among the leaders

Two weeks ago I flew off to Dubai to attend Annual World Takaful Conference with another colleague. I took my family with me because I couldn't bear the thought of leaving my 1 year old baby at home for a week. That's one and the other reason is I was lazy to manage my EBM (expressed breast milk) and to fly the packets back to Malaysia.

I managed to convince my husband to come along with me, and to take care of Iris during my conference which only took about 1 and a half day. Anyway we stayed at the hotel where my conference was held, so no biggie. I even went up during lunch time to help put Iris to nap. Or maybe I wasn't helping hahah.. because before I went up I saw the two was happily watching elmo on you tube. Of course she was happy to see me then I put her to nap, and went back down to my conference. When she woke up about half hour later only to see that I was not around, hubby said she went bananas. Luckily the second half of the day took only about 1.5 hours or so. Don't ask me what hubby did when Iris went bonkers, the most important thing is, THUMBS UP to my husband, for passing the test of being alone with the baby for the whole day.

Anyway, my experience going to the conference was great. There were only few representatives from Malaysian companies, and they were all CEOs, MDs, paling cikai pon Heads of department. I was probably the youngest there, and people pay little attention to me, probably wondering if I was in the wrong course.

 

Before I left my previous job, I was contemplating because I was slowly climbing up the corporate ladder, meeting with regulators, consultants, and other peers, I thought I was losing it all. But I guess, I feel even better now that I am in the supervision line, not only I get to meet the leaders of our Malaysian companies, I get to meet the leaders of multinational companies. What an amazing feeling.

Although I admit it was a bit tiring, trying to act professional and matured altogether, I was kinda proud of myself getting the opportunity to mingle with these great people. And I must tell you something that really made me prouder, women were probably less than 10% of the total attendees, and this malay lady, a managing director from an asset management company in Malaysia, was one of the speaker for the second day. She went up the stage with red kurung modern, so elegant, tak main la black blazer. Tinggi mana pun kita, jangan lupa angkat darjat melayu. chewah.

Jalan jalan pergi Korea with Maria Tunku Sabri, cheap muslim package

Hello K-pop lovers! And fans of Maria Tunku Sabri!!

With great pleasure, I would like to announce that my cousin's travelling agency company is organising a muslim trip to Korea this April. Check out the details in the flyers below.

Not only muslims can follow this cheap tour, it is also open non-muslims, but the food will be halal food.

If you are interested, do drop me a line with your email address and I will help you on the registration part.

Dengue and its prevention

I attended a talk on dengue some time last week and it's quite interesting to know certain facts that I have never been exposed before. All I had ever known about dengue was, you'll get it from a mosquito called Aedes and it is active during early morning and late evening. Full stop. But there's more.

So far we have no vaccine for dengue and there is no proper treatment for it. If you are diagnosed, you will be admitted to the hospital and you will be dripped with water. So it is very important that you prevent it from happening rather than trying to cure it.

Dengue is transmitted between people by Aedes mosquito. So someone who has ben infected by the virus when being bitten by the mosquito, that insect will carry the virus in her (only female bites). That virus can multiply in her body and stay about 3-7 days. When bit someone else she will passed the virus to that poor healthy person.

60% to 70% of our population has been infected by dengue whether or not you are aware of it, depending on individual's level of antibody. First bite normally will not be very severe, but when you get bitten for the second time, that's when you can see all the symptoms, again, depending on the level of antibody and which level of virus has been transmitted to your body. This virus will go away from human body usually after 7 days, depending on the severity.

There are a lot of probable symptoms, and the obvious ones are nausea, vomiting, rashes, body aches and bleeding. Rashes will be something coming from under your skin, usually at your arms, legs, and sometimes whole body. It is not like acne, so you can't feel the rashes but you can see reddish spots from under your skin.

1 mosquito can lay 100 eggs and they can become adult in 1 week. When in the eggs or during lava stage, they do not carry the virus. They only carry and transmit the virus when become adult. Hence, anything that contains water must be washed once a week, before the eggs have the chance becoming adult. Not only you wash and throw the water away, you must scrub the surface as well to deform the eggs, as when you throw the water, the mosquito's eggs will be glued at the hard surface, and they can live on a dry surface for 9 months. Once water touched the eggs, they will hatch and become lava. How scary... Coz you thought you have washed it all.

Aedes bites between 5 to 7 am/pm. So be careful when your kids go out and play. Iris loves playing outside during these times in the evening. Its life span is about 2 weeks to a month and it can fly up to 50-150m. They like dark coloured container/shirts, especially red because it reminds them of blood. Female aedes feeds on blood as they need blood to produce egg (male aedes are vegetarian). These insects are attracted to human sweat. So...rajin rajin la mandi ye.

Some petua for dengue fever, which not proven medically but has been a practice:
Pucuk betik rebus and minum, air kelapa and crab soup.

Hope this helps.



Talk by vector specialist.
     

Marriage

No matter how long you have been married to each other, there are always a lot of things to be improved. No marriage is perfect. Hence, both husband and wife were made for each other, have to constantly reminding each other, to make a happy family.

Mufti Menk, on marriage.

1. Everything is created with partners/spouses/pairs.

2. If you take care of your tongue and private parts, paradise is guaranteed for you.

3. If before marriage already lived in together under shadows of syaitan, when you get married, syaitan will make you fight, and influence you for adultery with somebody else. But if you marry for the right reason, you will always have natural feeling towards your wife, that you have never had it before marriage, maybe more in love than before.

4. Sunnah Rasulullah s.a.w: Be conscious with your pair, created from the rib of Adam a.s. Know that man was created from something dead (soil) but woman was created from something alive (Adam's rib).
Masya Allah... so females are actually gifts to men. (After Adam A.S doa to Allah that he was lonely, Allah s.w.t created Hawa.

5. Be conscious with Allah s.w.t. You will never disrespect your responsibility towards your family, no cheating etc.. because Allah watches you.

6. Be conscious of wombs in your wife, mother, and mother in law. The wombs carry all your zuriat.

7. Those who live separately with the parents, insyaAllah will have better relationship with the parents. There shouldn't be 2 kings/2 queens in a house. Parents must allow their children to live separately and not to interfere with their lives.
This is very true. I am currently staying with my parents, and yes, there are issues when there are 2 kings in the house. When it's about paying stuff and taking care of things in the house, we were always being reminded that we are adults and now it's time for us to take over. But when about making decisions about the family and that sort, we are just kids. So yea..not that I don't love my parents, but I think these issues will be resolved, once we are on our own.

8.  99% problems of marriage comes from communication, the way we speak. Husbands have to make jokes, praise the wives, make them smile and blush, be as romantic as possible like Rasulullah s.a.w used to do with his wives. Speak up when you have to speak.
Also true. My husband is not a romantic person. And he doesn't speak his mind very often too. Seldom praise me, well nothing to praise I suppose. He is too honest that sometimes it hurts me. Ouch..truth hurts.

9. A woman controls the love in her man. Smile, cook, do everything for him. Man will have inclination towards the woman even if the cooking is not nice.
Ermm...must remind the husband, he is too honest with my cooking.

10. To make a happy home:
- spend time
- tolerate on differences
- Speak
- trust
- tender and lenient, calm and polite, sweet talk
Hard and harsh will drive the partner away.

11. Thankful to your partner always to show appreciation.

12. Always try to put yourselves in your spouse's shoes. Try understand where they coming from.

13. High tone of voice in the house will make people in the house lose respect towards you. If a child see the father or mother scream and shout, this will haunt them forever. Lose respect.

14. Select your words when speak to wife or children. Instead of saying 'shut up', just put your finger on the nose to ask them keep quiet.

15. How to choose a spouse: Beauty, stability, closeness to Allah. Find a woman that has a good bring up, because your children will follow you.
I think this applies to women as well. Choose your spouse wisely. Not just about love. Love can be developed after marriage.

16. For women to work is last resort. Primary role is to give birth and to take care of homes. That is why womb is not placed in men.
Well, I can't do this yet. I think if you work and you still give birth and able to keep your family harmony, it's tough, but it's most respected. Because you work, to reduce the burden of your husband, right? But of course I have to hire a maid for washing and cleaning. So I am not there yet ok. I wish I can work and do housework at the same time. But I can't. Kene improve? Yes. Ke arah isteri mithali, insyaAllah.

But basically all other things yang Mufti Menk cakap are mostly reminder for the men. Too many responsibilities in a man to keep your family together. So, my man! A lot to improve?

Iris' Food

If you speak to all devoted mommies out there, food is one of the most important thing to watch out for their babies. I am not particularly good at this. I don't read books or online articles about what food suits babies according to their age, never. I just follow my instinct.

I look at my daughter, see the number of teeth, imagine if I were her at that age, will I be able to take that food. Of course I over-do it at times. Or under-do it. But there were a lot of trial and error involved. There are no hard and fast rule, really. Just what you think is best for your child.

Everything is introduced in stages. Supaya perut tak terkejut. And I started with something very mild and easy to chew and digest.

Below 6 months
Iris was exclusively breastfed until 6months old. When she reached 6 months, it was the fasting month, and I couldn't cope with the milk pumping 3 times a day. I decided to mix with formula milk since she was already passing her 6 months mark. I didn't want to do puasa ganti sebulan. Tak sanggup.... I would have, if she hasn't yet turned 6 months.

6months
Iris started her first solid at 5months and 29 days because the grandma was so eager to put something in her mouth. And of course because she had shown signs of interest in food since she was 5months. She would look at your mouth when you chew your food, look at the spoon as you take it to your mouth, with her mouth open of course. (Google for signs in babies to know if she is ready for solid. Some babies show signs later than this, means she is not ready).

6.5 months to 7 months
Her first solid was fruit puree. Thanks to my bestfriend Ira for making Iris' first apple puree. So we made her banana, apple, honeydew and papaya, and she loved banana the most. She was only on fruit puree for about two weeks, then I started to feed her blended porridge mixed with banana and dates. Not very long after, I introduced her steamed, blended vegetables mixed with her blended porridge. So I had bayam, carrots, potatoes, pumpkins. I have also added sweet potato puree and she loved it so much. Still continuing with fruit puree though, although they were not the main food. So at this stage she was only eating twice a day.

7.5 month to 8 months
Started to introduce her fish. Mostly on salmon. Realised that she loved grilled salmon. And we have been giving her salmon almost everyday. So porridge mixed with salmon and vegetable. We stopped carrots and pumpkin because it caused her skin to be yellowish, carotenosis they call it. But she continued with everything else. And we have added more kinds of vege in her list. She already started to take dinner at this point, so three meals a day.

8 months to 10 months
Introduced chicken to her. Mostly grilled. At 10 months old, we stopped blending her rice, just put more water in her rice and started to introduce egg yolk. Sometimes mommy cooked pasta for her, but she prefers rice.

10 months to 1 year old
I tried to cook lauk for her with kuah so she can eat with her rice. Because at this stage, she eats normal rice that we eat, so I thought some kuah would be nice for her. I never added salt to any of her food. Tried to delay the salt.

1 year old
Started to introduce her red meat. A bit too late some would say. But I just thought red meat is a bit too hard to digest. I don't know. But anyway, at this point, everybody starts giving her little bites from whatever they are eating. So she has developed the sense of taste now. She no longer wants food without salt. She would cry for the food on the adult's table and refused to ear the one in her bowl. So for me, either I let her go hungry, or let her eat adult's food.

At first, I couldn't help it but cried when she rejected my cooking. Either because my cooking is lousy or she refused to take food without salt anymore. Husband comforted me saying that the little salt that we put in our cooking will eventually diluted and spread in the kuah. Berapa banyak sangat la kuah baby tu makan. Which makes sense.

So I have accepted the fact that my baby has grown up and she has well developed her taste bud. Insisting on eating baby food is like letting her go hungry. I know there are ways to make baby food that has good tastes, but I am no chef. I cook following recipes, I can't improvise my cooking to suit babies. I am just lousy at it.

I believe all mothers love their children so much and would like to have the best for their babies. If Iris wants adult food, and if that's what makes her eating, so be it. I tried to preserve feeding babies food (very little salt or no salt at all) to Iris, and I only managed to do it for 1 year. Good enough for me.

As long as you're eating, baby!

My super energetic baby girl modelling Prada shades

 

January Babies Birthday Celebration

I have been unwell and busy these past weeks so this post come in a bit late, but better late than never.

My girlfriends have been close friends since we were 13, and most of the girls known each other since primary school. But 13 was the age that we all met and became very close. All 20 of us.

Before we have families, we have been doing gatherings like all the time, every birthday occasions. Now most of us are married with kids, gathering is something we really have to plan very well in advance. No more, "let's meet up tomorrow for dinner" No we can't.

So we were off from gatherings for quite a while now, only meet up for engagements, weddings, and kids' birthdays which we often have now.

January 2014 is a good month to start gathering the girls again. It's also good for our kids to get along well with everyone.

So we had our January babies birthday celebrated at Ben's, BSC. Booked for 25 pax, the food was awesome and the place was family friendly too. I love it so much.

Here is the picture of everyone, missing in the foto are the kids, Eijaz, Emir, Suria and the twins, Aisya and Zahra. And of course the hubbies. They are always missing in the pictures, because they are the loyal photographers.

ShoAnne, Ashik, Syikin, Aliaa, myself, Myra, Dini, Aziati, Diyana and Dzue

My Iris rocking in her Chateau De Sable

 

The birthday girls, ShoAnne, Myra and Syikin

 I had fun meeting the girls. And I am already looking forward meeting them again in the next occasion.

Controlling EQ

I must share something really interesting I learned today from a consultant who came to my office to talk about EQ.

I feel this is very important and I hope it gives us a thought on how to handle emotions in our everyday life. Of course, listening to the speakers make more sense than reading what I am sharing. But here just some little things I manage to jot down in my handphone to serve as a reminder to me and to my readers.

A lot of us talk about IQ but seldom people know that EQ is as important. It is about being smarter with our feelings. It is a fusion of logic and emotion. We have 'thinking brain' that spells out logic and 'feeling brain' that gives us all sorts of emotion.

Manage your emotion

We must be able to identify our emotion. There is no positive or negative emotion. All emotions are there because of a reason. Once we identify what kind of emotion comes out of play, we have to then understand it. Why do we have that emotion. And then manage it!

Identifying emotions will help you calm down. If you keep your emotions to yourself and thinking you can go to bed and sleep it off, studies prove that you are wrong! You can never forget that emotion by just sleeping. It will mountain up in your mind and that feeling will harbour in your head for the next 20 years. And sometimes you don't have to wait 20 years, give it one month, it will erupt. Then, when the heart and the mind cannot contain the emotion, you will start to say or act badly. And this, my dear readers, will affect people around you.

Emotions are contagious

Your emotions affect other people. When you are angry at something else, but you show it in front of everybody, that kinda mood will impact other people in the same room/house. You have no mood to talk, I have no mood to talk too. So this is bad. Relationships are at stake.

Navigate your feeling

Don't supress, but navigate it away. When emotion comes, deal with it. Do not disregard your emotion. Thoughts can't be controlled when it first come to your head, but feelings can. And feelings drive your action.

You can't live your life on auto pilot mode all the time. Then you wouldn't have a good outcome. What it means is that, you gotta handle your different mood differently.
For example if you are angry at someone for driving recklessly and almost knock your car. You gotta start to think positive. Give reasons for that person, explain to yourself. She might have needed to go to the toilet so badly. Or she may have an emergency at her daughter's school. Whatever, create a story for her. You will not be angry anymore after that.

See. You identify you are angry and the reason for that, then you navigate it away. You are calmer.

Emotional Hijacked

Do not let feelings take over your logic. When your 'feeling brain' takes over your 'thinking brain', you can't think logic anymore and you will not make good decisions. You will act crazily, hysterically, and after that hijack, you will not remember anymore what happened and why you did that. It is called 'Amygdala Hijack'.

Managing the hijack

Brain takes 6 seconds to release chemicals to the whole body. So when you feel so angry, force your brain to release chemical from the 'thinking brain'. How? Count sheeps (don't count just 10, something abnormal, like count until 59 or 78), spell your name backwards. Try to remember the day you gave birth. Then, you can control your feeling.

Managing other people's emotion

Simple. 'Empathy' is the word. Try to understand why this person is acting this way, Acknowledge that person is having an emotion at the moment, and try to tell her "I think maybe you need time on your own? I am here if you need me" It shows you know she is having problem, you acknowledge that, and you are always around.


Don't you think those are really good tips? I really believe in all these things, in fact, I have practiced some of it, but sometimes I refuse to control my anger, not because I can't, itu namanya ikut perasaan. You need to have a partner to share your feelings. So you build each other's emotions right.

Not just at work, but also at home.

Feelings stays forever. People always remember the way you make them feel. Your actions will give either good feeling or bad feeling to other people that will be remembered forever. So choose.

All of us got sick

I was down with fever on Saturday evening when I was at my in law's house. My MIL and SIL were kind enough to help me look after Imaan while I tried to get some sleep upstairs.

I wanted to go home so badly so that I could leave Imaan with my maid while I get some rest in peace, but since MIL already cooked dinner, we decided to stay back for a while. So my sleep wasn't really a big rest. I was half awake in my sleep worrying about my MIL having to take care of my super 'energetic' baby (Myra advised me not to use the word lasak). And yes, all throughout my sleep I hear 'TANG TANG TANG TANG TANG', Imaan whacking and thumping kakak Khaira's cooking utensils. After dinner, we drove home and I was already feeling sick.

That night I felt really cold. I left daddy and baby in the room and went to sleep at the hall alone. After two hours, I went back in the room because it was Imaan's feeding time. She still wakes up for feeding, you all! And she wants my boobies, you all!

She doesn't cry for milk at night honestly. She just starts to suck her thumb so hard while still have her eyes shut. And I cant bear the sound of it, I will start to pull her thumb out and she will automatically open her mouth and look for my boobs, eyes close. So that's how it is every night.

And when times like this, when mommy is really really really sick, I don't get a time off from feeding my baby. That's a job with no MC allowed. With my throbbing head, I forced myself to wake up and feed her. At that time, I super wished that my hubby has boobs with milk too. A little pat on the knee and sometimes on my arms was all he could give me..well ok la.. an acknowledgement. And he continued to snore. Hmm... thank you husband for the acknowledgement. Teehee...

On my second night being sick, I decided to send Imaan to sleep with bibik. Night after night I contemplate, well everytime when I fall sick, I will contemplate the same thing, and I end up letting her sleep with me. But that second night, I couldn't, not because I didn't want to feed her at night, but because I didn't want her to get my virus. So I did, sent her to bibik.

At 3a.m bibik knocked my door. She was crying for me. Her eyes were wide open and I quickly held her and I realised that her body was so warm already. It was too late to save her. Well I guess it is inevitable.

Suddenly my fever just gone with the wind the moment I learned my baby has caught the virus. Now I gotta be strong for her. I can't fall sick. The mind telling the body. I gotta be strong for her.

So I continue to nurse her and I swear she suckles the boobie all night until my back aches. My milk is the best medicine I can give you. The mind telling the body again.

When the day comes, her temperature goes down and goes up again the second night. I tried to cool her down with warm towel but she just kept on crying and screaming and refusing the towel. I cried too. At 1.30am, we brought her to Alam Medic and doctor inserted medicine through her butt.

Temperature went down after that. And she slept better after taking that medicine.

Daddy pun jatuh sakit the next day. But strong daddy recovered after a whole day rest.

This is the third night, Imaan with mild fever. She is still an active baby nevertheless. How I love her strength.

I hope she gets well soon. If the fever still does not subside, tomorrow will be the fourth night, and I must go to the hospital to get her blood checked for dengue.

At this point, teringat anak boss yang sedang terlantar comma di SDMC for 10 days now because of AVM. Arif Fikri, kuatkan semangat dan semoga cepat sembuh dan kembali kepada mama dan papa. Ameen.


Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda:

"Tidaklah seorang muslim tertimpa suatu penyakit dan sejenisnya, melainkan Allah akan mengugurkan bersamanya dosa-dosanya seperti pohon yang mengugurkan daun-daunnya."
(H.R. Bukhari dan Muslim)

Shoanne's 31st Birthday

14.1.14 is a nice date.

My bff Shoanne turned 31 on 13.1.14.

Nowadays, with kids and double family to attend to during holidays, we can't really gather like those days we used to do.

So on 14.1.14 we had a quick gathering with the rest of the gang to celebrate her birthday. Breakfast at La Bodega.

Every little time counts.

The lovely birthday girl with her cake

Chanel cake for Shoanne

Without Dyla as she has to return to work shortly after

Everybody

It was really nice to gather like this once in a while.

Hubby was not well the night before. But he managed to get himself together on that day and joined us. How sweet.

Thanks to Zetty for organizing and for ordering the lovely cake.

Later in the evening, we went to another birthday party at Shah Alam. My cousin's daughter turned one, also on 13.1.14.

By this time, Imaan already tired and sleepy.

Happy birthday Shoanne, may you have a blessed year with your wonderful family and I love you so much. May our friendship lasts. Ameen.

To Flora, happy 1st Birthday. Semoga menjadi anak yang baik untuk mama dan ayah.



Pic courtesy: Ali, Farouq

Allah Tuhan sekalian alam

I went to usrah last night after so long I have ignored religious studies. I would like to share the things that I feel has benefitted me in so many ways. And insyaAllah it will benefit the readers.

Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 185
Al-Quran diturunkan untuk sekalian alam bukan untuk orang Islam sahaja.

Surah Luqman ayat 25
Jika kita bertanya kepada orang musyrikin (orang kafir) siapakah yang menjadikan sekalian alam, dan mereka menjawab 'Allah', ucapkan 'Alhamdulillah', bersyukur disebabkan pengakuan mereka kewujudan Allah.

Ketua orang munafik semasa zaman Rasulullah s.aw., Abdullah (hamba Allah) bin Ubbai. Tak pernah baginda menghalang menggunakan nama tersebut. Kerana tugas orang Islam adalah untuk berdakwah. Bukan untuk menghalang. Akhirnya, anak Abdullah kemudiannya telah beriman dan menjadi sahabat baik Rasulullah s.a.w.

This is really a big thing now in Malaysia. The usage of kalimah Allah in the bible is a big issue now if you notice. Personally, before I attended this usrah, I have never agreed on the prohibition for the non muslim to use kalimah Allah. My reason was Allah means God in arab. And bible juga adalah kitab Allah. Of course my reasoning was wrong or inaccurate. There is more to it.

Penggunaan kalimah Allah oleh non muslim telah terjadi dari sejak zaman Nabi lagi. Tapi Rasulullah s.a.w tak pernah menghalang sebaliknya terus berdakwah untuk mereka mengenali Allah dan mengaku Rasulullah itu pesuruh Allah.

Surah Al-Ikhlas
Katakanlah wahai Muhammad, Tuhanku ialah Allah Yang Maha Esa. Ia tidah beranak dan ia tidak pula diperanakkan.

Surah Ali-Imraan (Ayat 110)
Kita harus menjadi umat yang terbaik untuk semua manusia. Bila orang tak berbuat baik bukan mengeji atau mencaci, sebaliknya berdakwah. Cegah kemungkaran dan haling dari menyembah selain dari Allah. Kita harus menunjukkan contoh dan akidah yang baik untuk berdakwah supaya orang jatuh cinta pada agama kita.

Ustaz was telling us, he met a few people yang masuk Islam di U.S/U.K bila ditanya, they said they never fell in love with Islam when they were in Malaysia but they did when they were in overseas because they fell in love with muslims over there. Apa maksudnya? Orang Islam kat Malaysia ni, perangai tak indah langsung, masyaAllah tak tahu nak describe macam mana. Actually bukan orang Islam.... ORANG MELAYU.

Wallahualam.

So meaning, now dengan penggunaan Allah dalam bible, mereka mengaku kewujudan Allah (Alhamdulillah) cuma pengenalan mereka terhadap Allah tu salah. So sebab itu perlu berdakwah bukan menghalang.

And one more BIG lesson I learned last night that hit me so bad, I almost cried.

Jangan menghukum orang yang munafik (orang Islam yang bersikap munafik).
Sikap munafik - bercakap bohong, janji tidak menepati, khianati amanah, riak etc..)
Seorang hamba Allah yang dikatakan munafik, tetapi sentiasa bersolat di belakang Rasulullah s.a.w, apabila dia mati, baginda tetap sembahyangkan sahabat yang munafik itu kerana dia tetap orang Islam. Perbuatan munafik adalah antara beliau dengan Allah s.w.t.

Subhanallah

I have always judged people, without giving the other party the opportunity to defend themselves. Just to feel good about myself. I judged too many people, I guess it's human nature. See.. admitting something bad about you and blame human nature, masyaAllah..

If you judge someone yang banyak dosa, sekali dia berubah dan bertaubat nasuha, dosa dia hilang and you are left with your sins of judging that person.

It's something that I have to fix BIG TIME! I admit I can't change this overnight, but I will try insyaAllah.

I MUST STOP JUDGING PEOPLE. Sekali pun dia buat dosa, itu antara dia dan Allah, you have no right to be his judge.

Store in your mind.

Imaan Iris turns 1 party

My baby turned one on 26 Dec 2013. It was a working day so we decided to have a small family celebration at home. We bought a simple blueberry cheesecake from King's because she loves cheese and blueberry.

Mommy, Daddy and Imaan

 

Our little family

My in laws came for the celebration. My bestfriend Latiff and family gave a surprise visit and Aunty Maria, mom's bestfriend also dropped by because she is staying nearby. It was nice of her to wait until 10.48pm because that was the actual time Imaan was delivered into the world, and she happened to there at the hospital waiting for me.

Iris and Lily, two beautiful flowers in my life, messing up their cakes

The actual birthday party was held on 28 December 2013, Saturday at my parents' house in Bukit Jelutong. Attended by over 90 guests of close family and friends, I was honoured to have them spending their precious time with us celebrating our daughter's first birthday.

I didn't plan for any birthday themes, I thought while she is still 1 year old, she won't understand anything, I just wanted to have a simple old-skool kinda birthday that I used to have when I was little. No fancy theme, no fancy games, no fantastic decorations. Konon-konon nak reminisce zaman kita kecik kecik dulu, very old-skool la konon.

Tapi still jugak nak buat some minor décor. We DIY everything, hasil tangan mommy and daddy.

The very humble DIY décor. I love the photos of Imaan from three different faces of her. When she was 2 week, 3 months and 10 months old.

 

Seven tables for family and friends

 

DIY centrepiece on each table. Walaupon quality tak berapa nak elok, mommy and daddy take pride in all these handmade décor and ideas.

For candy table, we didn't have much candies on it, silap sebab tak make orders. Just assumed Wondermilk bukak...sekali tutup daaaa that morning... so had to go to few places to get the few things on the candy table.

Candy table, we had choclairs, sumi jelly, marshmellows, subway cookies, cheese tarts and fruit tarts from King's

DIY door gifts for babies (on the left) and kids (on the right). For babies we just have babies biscuits and rattle. For kids, we had blower, rattle, mask, twisties, mentos, cloud 9, Apollo waffle. Nak old skool sangat, amek kau, Apollo waffle masa kita kecik-kecik punya snacks.

 

 

For cakes, I actually just wanted the same kinda cake that I had when I was 1, a plain white vanilla butter cake in the shape of 1. So I asked my mom to order this cake for me, pretty sure she remembered my first birthday cake. I didn't expect to see clowns, skittles and bendera Malaysia on the cake, but whatever... hahah I don't want to be fussy about it. It's just a birthday party, the most important thing is we had our families and friends attending the party.

 



Imaan's birthday cake ordered from Aunty Noraini, PJ Sek 1. Very nice cake, I love it. 1.5kg cake for rm100.

My Korean princess, style in hanbok, brought by MIL from korea. 

 

Mommy helped Imaan to blow the candle

 

Mommy and Daddy helped to cut the cake

 

With some of my girlfriends. Been friends for 17 years. Missing from the picture, Ashik, Dyla and Myra.

The dragon babies, Adam, Sharleez, Imaan and Lily

 

My little family

 

Birthday presents, whee Alhamdulillah

 

 

The hanbok very hot, changed to her CottonOn dress that is so super comfy, and she is sleepy already towards the end

 

 

I don't have photos of the food. We catered for mee curry, popiah goring pedas and seri muka, cordial drink, bubur kacang hijau and teh tarik. We also had homemade nasi lemak, pasta Bolognese, and egg sandwhiches.

Overall, I love everything about the party, and I was so grateful to have our families and friends gathered together for this very special day.

Imaan Iris, doa mommy, semoga baby menjadi anak yang baik dan solehah dunia akhirat. Ameen.