January Babies Birthday Celebration

I have been unwell and busy these past weeks so this post come in a bit late, but better late than never.

My girlfriends have been close friends since we were 13, and most of the girls known each other since primary school. But 13 was the age that we all met and became very close. All 20 of us.

Before we have families, we have been doing gatherings like all the time, every birthday occasions. Now most of us are married with kids, gathering is something we really have to plan very well in advance. No more, "let's meet up tomorrow for dinner" No we can't.

So we were off from gatherings for quite a while now, only meet up for engagements, weddings, and kids' birthdays which we often have now.

January 2014 is a good month to start gathering the girls again. It's also good for our kids to get along well with everyone.

So we had our January babies birthday celebrated at Ben's, BSC. Booked for 25 pax, the food was awesome and the place was family friendly too. I love it so much.

Here is the picture of everyone, missing in the foto are the kids, Eijaz, Emir, Suria and the twins, Aisya and Zahra. And of course the hubbies. They are always missing in the pictures, because they are the loyal photographers.

ShoAnne, Ashik, Syikin, Aliaa, myself, Myra, Dini, Aziati, Diyana and Dzue

My Iris rocking in her Chateau De Sable

 

The birthday girls, ShoAnne, Myra and Syikin

 I had fun meeting the girls. And I am already looking forward meeting them again in the next occasion.

Controlling EQ

I must share something really interesting I learned today from a consultant who came to my office to talk about EQ.

I feel this is very important and I hope it gives us a thought on how to handle emotions in our everyday life. Of course, listening to the speakers make more sense than reading what I am sharing. But here just some little things I manage to jot down in my handphone to serve as a reminder to me and to my readers.

A lot of us talk about IQ but seldom people know that EQ is as important. It is about being smarter with our feelings. It is a fusion of logic and emotion. We have 'thinking brain' that spells out logic and 'feeling brain' that gives us all sorts of emotion.

Manage your emotion

We must be able to identify our emotion. There is no positive or negative emotion. All emotions are there because of a reason. Once we identify what kind of emotion comes out of play, we have to then understand it. Why do we have that emotion. And then manage it!

Identifying emotions will help you calm down. If you keep your emotions to yourself and thinking you can go to bed and sleep it off, studies prove that you are wrong! You can never forget that emotion by just sleeping. It will mountain up in your mind and that feeling will harbour in your head for the next 20 years. And sometimes you don't have to wait 20 years, give it one month, it will erupt. Then, when the heart and the mind cannot contain the emotion, you will start to say or act badly. And this, my dear readers, will affect people around you.

Emotions are contagious

Your emotions affect other people. When you are angry at something else, but you show it in front of everybody, that kinda mood will impact other people in the same room/house. You have no mood to talk, I have no mood to talk too. So this is bad. Relationships are at stake.

Navigate your feeling

Don't supress, but navigate it away. When emotion comes, deal with it. Do not disregard your emotion. Thoughts can't be controlled when it first come to your head, but feelings can. And feelings drive your action.

You can't live your life on auto pilot mode all the time. Then you wouldn't have a good outcome. What it means is that, you gotta handle your different mood differently.
For example if you are angry at someone for driving recklessly and almost knock your car. You gotta start to think positive. Give reasons for that person, explain to yourself. She might have needed to go to the toilet so badly. Or she may have an emergency at her daughter's school. Whatever, create a story for her. You will not be angry anymore after that.

See. You identify you are angry and the reason for that, then you navigate it away. You are calmer.

Emotional Hijacked

Do not let feelings take over your logic. When your 'feeling brain' takes over your 'thinking brain', you can't think logic anymore and you will not make good decisions. You will act crazily, hysterically, and after that hijack, you will not remember anymore what happened and why you did that. It is called 'Amygdala Hijack'.

Managing the hijack

Brain takes 6 seconds to release chemicals to the whole body. So when you feel so angry, force your brain to release chemical from the 'thinking brain'. How? Count sheeps (don't count just 10, something abnormal, like count until 59 or 78), spell your name backwards. Try to remember the day you gave birth. Then, you can control your feeling.

Managing other people's emotion

Simple. 'Empathy' is the word. Try to understand why this person is acting this way, Acknowledge that person is having an emotion at the moment, and try to tell her "I think maybe you need time on your own? I am here if you need me" It shows you know she is having problem, you acknowledge that, and you are always around.


Don't you think those are really good tips? I really believe in all these things, in fact, I have practiced some of it, but sometimes I refuse to control my anger, not because I can't, itu namanya ikut perasaan. You need to have a partner to share your feelings. So you build each other's emotions right.

Not just at work, but also at home.

Feelings stays forever. People always remember the way you make them feel. Your actions will give either good feeling or bad feeling to other people that will be remembered forever. So choose.

All of us got sick

I was down with fever on Saturday evening when I was at my in law's house. My MIL and SIL were kind enough to help me look after Imaan while I tried to get some sleep upstairs.

I wanted to go home so badly so that I could leave Imaan with my maid while I get some rest in peace, but since MIL already cooked dinner, we decided to stay back for a while. So my sleep wasn't really a big rest. I was half awake in my sleep worrying about my MIL having to take care of my super 'energetic' baby (Myra advised me not to use the word lasak). And yes, all throughout my sleep I hear 'TANG TANG TANG TANG TANG', Imaan whacking and thumping kakak Khaira's cooking utensils. After dinner, we drove home and I was already feeling sick.

That night I felt really cold. I left daddy and baby in the room and went to sleep at the hall alone. After two hours, I went back in the room because it was Imaan's feeding time. She still wakes up for feeding, you all! And she wants my boobies, you all!

She doesn't cry for milk at night honestly. She just starts to suck her thumb so hard while still have her eyes shut. And I cant bear the sound of it, I will start to pull her thumb out and she will automatically open her mouth and look for my boobs, eyes close. So that's how it is every night.

And when times like this, when mommy is really really really sick, I don't get a time off from feeding my baby. That's a job with no MC allowed. With my throbbing head, I forced myself to wake up and feed her. At that time, I super wished that my hubby has boobs with milk too. A little pat on the knee and sometimes on my arms was all he could give me..well ok la.. an acknowledgement. And he continued to snore. Hmm... thank you husband for the acknowledgement. Teehee...

On my second night being sick, I decided to send Imaan to sleep with bibik. Night after night I contemplate, well everytime when I fall sick, I will contemplate the same thing, and I end up letting her sleep with me. But that second night, I couldn't, not because I didn't want to feed her at night, but because I didn't want her to get my virus. So I did, sent her to bibik.

At 3a.m bibik knocked my door. She was crying for me. Her eyes were wide open and I quickly held her and I realised that her body was so warm already. It was too late to save her. Well I guess it is inevitable.

Suddenly my fever just gone with the wind the moment I learned my baby has caught the virus. Now I gotta be strong for her. I can't fall sick. The mind telling the body. I gotta be strong for her.

So I continue to nurse her and I swear she suckles the boobie all night until my back aches. My milk is the best medicine I can give you. The mind telling the body again.

When the day comes, her temperature goes down and goes up again the second night. I tried to cool her down with warm towel but she just kept on crying and screaming and refusing the towel. I cried too. At 1.30am, we brought her to Alam Medic and doctor inserted medicine through her butt.

Temperature went down after that. And she slept better after taking that medicine.

Daddy pun jatuh sakit the next day. But strong daddy recovered after a whole day rest.

This is the third night, Imaan with mild fever. She is still an active baby nevertheless. How I love her strength.

I hope she gets well soon. If the fever still does not subside, tomorrow will be the fourth night, and I must go to the hospital to get her blood checked for dengue.

At this point, teringat anak boss yang sedang terlantar comma di SDMC for 10 days now because of AVM. Arif Fikri, kuatkan semangat dan semoga cepat sembuh dan kembali kepada mama dan papa. Ameen.


Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda:

"Tidaklah seorang muslim tertimpa suatu penyakit dan sejenisnya, melainkan Allah akan mengugurkan bersamanya dosa-dosanya seperti pohon yang mengugurkan daun-daunnya."
(H.R. Bukhari dan Muslim)

Shoanne's 31st Birthday

14.1.14 is a nice date.

My bff Shoanne turned 31 on 13.1.14.

Nowadays, with kids and double family to attend to during holidays, we can't really gather like those days we used to do.

So on 14.1.14 we had a quick gathering with the rest of the gang to celebrate her birthday. Breakfast at La Bodega.

Every little time counts.

The lovely birthday girl with her cake

Chanel cake for Shoanne

Without Dyla as she has to return to work shortly after

Everybody

It was really nice to gather like this once in a while.

Hubby was not well the night before. But he managed to get himself together on that day and joined us. How sweet.

Thanks to Zetty for organizing and for ordering the lovely cake.

Later in the evening, we went to another birthday party at Shah Alam. My cousin's daughter turned one, also on 13.1.14.

By this time, Imaan already tired and sleepy.

Happy birthday Shoanne, may you have a blessed year with your wonderful family and I love you so much. May our friendship lasts. Ameen.

To Flora, happy 1st Birthday. Semoga menjadi anak yang baik untuk mama dan ayah.



Pic courtesy: Ali, Farouq

Allah Tuhan sekalian alam

I went to usrah last night after so long I have ignored religious studies. I would like to share the things that I feel has benefitted me in so many ways. And insyaAllah it will benefit the readers.

Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 185
Al-Quran diturunkan untuk sekalian alam bukan untuk orang Islam sahaja.

Surah Luqman ayat 25
Jika kita bertanya kepada orang musyrikin (orang kafir) siapakah yang menjadikan sekalian alam, dan mereka menjawab 'Allah', ucapkan 'Alhamdulillah', bersyukur disebabkan pengakuan mereka kewujudan Allah.

Ketua orang munafik semasa zaman Rasulullah s.aw., Abdullah (hamba Allah) bin Ubbai. Tak pernah baginda menghalang menggunakan nama tersebut. Kerana tugas orang Islam adalah untuk berdakwah. Bukan untuk menghalang. Akhirnya, anak Abdullah kemudiannya telah beriman dan menjadi sahabat baik Rasulullah s.a.w.

This is really a big thing now in Malaysia. The usage of kalimah Allah in the bible is a big issue now if you notice. Personally, before I attended this usrah, I have never agreed on the prohibition for the non muslim to use kalimah Allah. My reason was Allah means God in arab. And bible juga adalah kitab Allah. Of course my reasoning was wrong or inaccurate. There is more to it.

Penggunaan kalimah Allah oleh non muslim telah terjadi dari sejak zaman Nabi lagi. Tapi Rasulullah s.a.w tak pernah menghalang sebaliknya terus berdakwah untuk mereka mengenali Allah dan mengaku Rasulullah itu pesuruh Allah.

Surah Al-Ikhlas
Katakanlah wahai Muhammad, Tuhanku ialah Allah Yang Maha Esa. Ia tidah beranak dan ia tidak pula diperanakkan.

Surah Ali-Imraan (Ayat 110)
Kita harus menjadi umat yang terbaik untuk semua manusia. Bila orang tak berbuat baik bukan mengeji atau mencaci, sebaliknya berdakwah. Cegah kemungkaran dan haling dari menyembah selain dari Allah. Kita harus menunjukkan contoh dan akidah yang baik untuk berdakwah supaya orang jatuh cinta pada agama kita.

Ustaz was telling us, he met a few people yang masuk Islam di U.S/U.K bila ditanya, they said they never fell in love with Islam when they were in Malaysia but they did when they were in overseas because they fell in love with muslims over there. Apa maksudnya? Orang Islam kat Malaysia ni, perangai tak indah langsung, masyaAllah tak tahu nak describe macam mana. Actually bukan orang Islam.... ORANG MELAYU.

Wallahualam.

So meaning, now dengan penggunaan Allah dalam bible, mereka mengaku kewujudan Allah (Alhamdulillah) cuma pengenalan mereka terhadap Allah tu salah. So sebab itu perlu berdakwah bukan menghalang.

And one more BIG lesson I learned last night that hit me so bad, I almost cried.

Jangan menghukum orang yang munafik (orang Islam yang bersikap munafik).
Sikap munafik - bercakap bohong, janji tidak menepati, khianati amanah, riak etc..)
Seorang hamba Allah yang dikatakan munafik, tetapi sentiasa bersolat di belakang Rasulullah s.a.w, apabila dia mati, baginda tetap sembahyangkan sahabat yang munafik itu kerana dia tetap orang Islam. Perbuatan munafik adalah antara beliau dengan Allah s.w.t.

Subhanallah

I have always judged people, without giving the other party the opportunity to defend themselves. Just to feel good about myself. I judged too many people, I guess it's human nature. See.. admitting something bad about you and blame human nature, masyaAllah..

If you judge someone yang banyak dosa, sekali dia berubah dan bertaubat nasuha, dosa dia hilang and you are left with your sins of judging that person.

It's something that I have to fix BIG TIME! I admit I can't change this overnight, but I will try insyaAllah.

I MUST STOP JUDGING PEOPLE. Sekali pun dia buat dosa, itu antara dia dan Allah, you have no right to be his judge.

Store in your mind.

Imaan Iris turns 1 party

My baby turned one on 26 Dec 2013. It was a working day so we decided to have a small family celebration at home. We bought a simple blueberry cheesecake from King's because she loves cheese and blueberry.

Mommy, Daddy and Imaan

 

Our little family

My in laws came for the celebration. My bestfriend Latiff and family gave a surprise visit and Aunty Maria, mom's bestfriend also dropped by because she is staying nearby. It was nice of her to wait until 10.48pm because that was the actual time Imaan was delivered into the world, and she happened to there at the hospital waiting for me.

Iris and Lily, two beautiful flowers in my life, messing up their cakes

The actual birthday party was held on 28 December 2013, Saturday at my parents' house in Bukit Jelutong. Attended by over 90 guests of close family and friends, I was honoured to have them spending their precious time with us celebrating our daughter's first birthday.

I didn't plan for any birthday themes, I thought while she is still 1 year old, she won't understand anything, I just wanted to have a simple old-skool kinda birthday that I used to have when I was little. No fancy theme, no fancy games, no fantastic decorations. Konon-konon nak reminisce zaman kita kecik kecik dulu, very old-skool la konon.

Tapi still jugak nak buat some minor décor. We DIY everything, hasil tangan mommy and daddy.

The very humble DIY décor. I love the photos of Imaan from three different faces of her. When she was 2 week, 3 months and 10 months old.

 

Seven tables for family and friends

 

DIY centrepiece on each table. Walaupon quality tak berapa nak elok, mommy and daddy take pride in all these handmade décor and ideas.

For candy table, we didn't have much candies on it, silap sebab tak make orders. Just assumed Wondermilk bukak...sekali tutup daaaa that morning... so had to go to few places to get the few things on the candy table.

Candy table, we had choclairs, sumi jelly, marshmellows, subway cookies, cheese tarts and fruit tarts from King's

DIY door gifts for babies (on the left) and kids (on the right). For babies we just have babies biscuits and rattle. For kids, we had blower, rattle, mask, twisties, mentos, cloud 9, Apollo waffle. Nak old skool sangat, amek kau, Apollo waffle masa kita kecik-kecik punya snacks.

 

 

For cakes, I actually just wanted the same kinda cake that I had when I was 1, a plain white vanilla butter cake in the shape of 1. So I asked my mom to order this cake for me, pretty sure she remembered my first birthday cake. I didn't expect to see clowns, skittles and bendera Malaysia on the cake, but whatever... hahah I don't want to be fussy about it. It's just a birthday party, the most important thing is we had our families and friends attending the party.

 



Imaan's birthday cake ordered from Aunty Noraini, PJ Sek 1. Very nice cake, I love it. 1.5kg cake for rm100.

My Korean princess, style in hanbok, brought by MIL from korea. 

 

Mommy helped Imaan to blow the candle

 

Mommy and Daddy helped to cut the cake

 

With some of my girlfriends. Been friends for 17 years. Missing from the picture, Ashik, Dyla and Myra.

The dragon babies, Adam, Sharleez, Imaan and Lily

 

My little family

 

Birthday presents, whee Alhamdulillah

 

 

The hanbok very hot, changed to her CottonOn dress that is so super comfy, and she is sleepy already towards the end

 

 

I don't have photos of the food. We catered for mee curry, popiah goring pedas and seri muka, cordial drink, bubur kacang hijau and teh tarik. We also had homemade nasi lemak, pasta Bolognese, and egg sandwhiches.

Overall, I love everything about the party, and I was so grateful to have our families and friends gathered together for this very special day.

Imaan Iris, doa mommy, semoga baby menjadi anak yang baik dan solehah dunia akhirat. Ameen.

To Get Pregnant Again

Many of us do not know there are things to be prepared before we plan to get pregnant again. I didn't have a single knowledge until I did some research.

I am not gonna talk about how you need to plan your financial, mental preparedness etc.. because I believe, these are the first thing you will think about before you try to conceive again, these do not need to be taught, right?

There are things that I have never heard before, and I am not surprised some mothers that already have more than one child didn't know about this before they tried to conceive again. But if everything went fine, Alhamdulillah.. But tak rugi nak tahu extra things kan for safety measures.

What you need to do?

1. Check with doctor if you still have antibody for German Measles (Rubella) virus THREE months before trying to conceive. Because if you need to be vaccinated again, you have to wait for three months as it contains live viruses. Something like that laa, I am no good in explaining scientific/medical things. Consult your doctor kay. German Measles causes malformations of baby like deafness, blindness or heart disease.

2.  Start folic acid supplement THREE months before trying to conceive. Daily dose of 400mcg to prevent from spina bifida (neural tube defects).


3. Intercourse 2-3 times a week. You don't just get pregnant from one time sex.

Girl or Boy?

Girl - make love up to 2-3 days before ovulation, X sperm that brings this gender live longer. Make love fairly frequent to lower the proportion of make sperm in the semen.

Boy sperm swims faster but smaller and live shorter time.

I guess it is harder to get a boy heheh..

4. Exercise and lose 6kg for fertility I don't know why 6 kg hahaha.. (ok yang ini I doubt sikit) but memang if gemuk susah pregnant.


Yang lain tu terserah kepada tuhan. InsyaAllah..

2014

Happy new year to readers and anyone who happens to come across this blog sengaja atau tak sengaja.

So it is a new year again. New resolution? Aaahhh.. not so new you know. Been having the same wish list for quite some time.

Lose weight lose weight and lose MORE weight.

My wish list for 2014....

1. Lose 10kg.
Last year I wished to lose 20kg, and I only managed to lose 17.5kg after birth. oh well.. now I think I have gained some again. Let's just focus on 10kg shall we.

2. Breasfeed to 1.5 yo.
I had targeted to breasfeed up to 1 yo last year and I managed to Alhamdulillah. This year I want to push it over to at least 1.5 y.o. I don't know about weaning off, haven't thought about that. I have no heart to do that to her, let's just stick to this one first.

3. Start swimming
Not a new wish. I need to find time. My husband says I can't swim because I can't float hence I can't swim under deep water. But as long as I can get from one point to another without walking in the water (although I can only do that under water that has depth less than 1.5m) I still consider that swimming!

4. Open SSPN account for Iris
Last year we planned to open her ASB account when she reached 6 months old (the minimum age). And we did, Alhamdulillah. Money that we received as gift when I gave birth to her and during aqiqah, all are deposited in her asb account. Next is SSPN for education.

5. Open ASNB account
This is new for me. I have ASB account which I have maximised so I need another saving plan.

6. Run 10k again
Last year I wanted to run half marathon, can you believe that?????!!! Ni sama la case macam nak lose 20kg. Let's go back to reality shall we? Resume my 10k run!

7. Khatam Quran again
I have always wanted to do this for so many years. And never managed to. I must do this again. I MUST!!

8. Open tabung haji account
I need to open this account and register for haj. God knows when is my turn if I register this year. Dah tua kerepot agaknya.

9. 5 family vacation
We didn't go anywhere in 2013. Not even PD! The last holiday was Korea in September 2012. oh my god. So we must compensate this year.

10. Get pregnant
Ha? What? Are you sure? Letak je boleh? heeheeheh

InsyaAllah... kita hanya merancang dan berusaha, Allah yang menentukan.