Final attempt

I can’t focus anymore. I’ve got 18 hours before I write my name on my answer script. Minus sleeping time, well about 12 hours left. Minus the time to get ready, makan, travelling time, walking to the hall, I have got about 10 hours or so.


I have got to admit that I am not as strong as I used to be 10 years back. Where I could study all night long, and all I needed was just my radio and MSN (in case I get bored). But now, I cannot even last half an hour. Oh, I’m so terrible.

I know I am not showing the right attitude. But what can I do? I am helpless here.

I need to do this. Yes, I know if I don’t pass this round, it is still not the end of the world. But it will be the end of my career.

Ok lah, not that bad, I am just being dramatic here.

It’s been raining the whole day today. My fear is that I will cry after my paper tomorrow. It’s a sign.

Tawakkal.

Meet the parents

After kononnya di-proposed, the next step is to tell the parents. But I didn’t know how to go about it.


“Pa, nak kawin” or “Pa, Ali ajak kawin”, or “Pa, nak kawin, boleh?”

Bodoh giler bunyi.. haha..

It’s not something new to my parents. I mean like, all my family is expecting that to happen. We have known each other for more than 5 years now, and he is very much loved by my family. So the next best thing to do is to get married. But, you see, I’m the first child and the only daughter of En Khairil Anuar. So naturally it came as a shock to my dear father. Shocked not because I’m gonna marry Ali, but maybe because he realized that I have grown up.

Can you imagine this face, when I finally told him “Pa, Ali nak hantar family dating merisik before puasa”.

In between happy and alarmed, he responded, “Hah? Cepatnya?????” He looked at me for a while and said “Ok”. :)


Yes, it’s in two weeks. And now when I looked at the calendar, I can’t believe it myself that finally, I’m going to the next level. Alhamdulillah.

You made me laugh

Statements that really make me laugh like mad. Really my best medicine.


Situation 1:

Hari hujan, nenek cakap, “Badan kalau ada lemak boleh tahan sejuk. Macam nenek ni, badan dah kosong” Hahah.. she meant badan dah takder lemak.


Situation 2:

In the room with air-cond on. Nenek said, “Pasang air-cond lembik-lembik”.. And she actually meant, dia tak tahan sejuk, so higher the temperature please.

Situation 3:

My brother was in the car with my mom and myself. Lalu kat gerai jual buah nangka. He said, “Mama, mama, stop kejap beli buah nangka. Nak buat cempedak goreng” WTH. Mana ada nangka jadi cempedak. He is 23.


Situation 4:

Nenek dalam hospital for 6 days. Ali keep her company in the hospital and yes, it has been 6 days. Nenek cakap, “Shazali, asyik terperap je kat dalam bilik hospital ni. Pergilah jalan-jalan buang angin.” Well, she meant to say “Pergilah jalan-jalan ambil angin”.

I want to believe

Dedicated to Norhayati Muhamad Nor (Mak Long), scribbled by Roslinda Aziz (my mother)

I want to believe.....

That you heard our whispers of love

And our whispers of Syahadah

So you will always remember Allah...

I want to believe....

That you left us for a better place

A place where you can no longer feel pain

In Heaven is where you shall remain

I want to believe

The stars that lighted the sky

On the night we said our final goodbye

were signs that Allah has welcome you

So sleep my dear sister

until you are awaken

You may not know me by then

Only prayers will keep us near, Amin

Yes ! I Do Believe

Truly Madly Deeply - Savage Garden

OK, so this song is more than 10 years now. Then, it didnt mean anything. It was just a song. Now, it means everything..

I’ll be your dream, I’ll be your wish, I’ll be your fantasy,

I’ll be your hope, I’ll be your love, Be everything that you need,

I’ll love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do,

I will be strong, I will be faithfull cause I’m counting on a new beginning,

A reason for living, a deeper meaning,

I wanna stand with you on a mountain,

I wanna bathe with you in the sea,

I wanna lay like this forever,

Until the sky falls down on me,

And when my stars are shining brightly on the velvet sky,

I’ll make a wish send it to heaven and make you want to cry,

The tears of joy for all the pleasure and the certainty,

And we’re surrounded by the comfort and protection of the highest power,

In lonely hours, with tears devour you

Oh why can’t you see it baby,

Don’t have to close your eyes,

Just standing right before you,

All that you need will surely come.

Counting on a new beginning. InsyaAllah..

Kau pergi jua

At about 3.45 pm 12 July 2010, Maklong respired her last breathe. She started to get weak and her BP was low on Wednesday and was admitted to Kota Bharu hospital then. My mother got the news on Thursday and was planning to go to Kelantan that weekend. However on Friday, my cousin informed us that she was unconscious since morning. Doctor informed them that there is nothing else they could do other than palliative treatment, and that we could take her back if we wish to. He suggested calling all relatives to come the soonest possible.


So my parents took the earliest flight on Friday evening. I couldn’t make the decision at that time as it was supposed to be my last day at work before my study leave; hence I have got tones of things to do before I go. My brother was in a meeting, he was too could not decide if he could leave that night itself.

The next day, my brother and I decided to drive to Kota Bharu despite the fact that my parents disagreed on the idea of driving. All flights were full except MAS which was damn expensive, I couldn’t afford for two tickets. So kami nekad to drive and studied google map to look at the best and the shortest way to Kota Bharu.

We arrived late evening, and I managed to slipped into the hospital at night and saw all my cousins were there. Mak long was lying on the bed with no flesh left on her fragile bones. I broke down next to her. I called up for her, she did not respond. I held her hands so tight like telling her to open her eyes for just a little while. She did not respond.

The next morning I went to see her again. This time, all my family members were there including close friends and other relatives. Each one of the children took turn to whisper the name of Allah at her ears. Some read Surah Yassin while others just couldn’t stop crying. I sat next to Maklong again and whispered in her ears. I told her that I love her. I told her I held her hands, and was hoping if she would grip my hand. Like in the film, for once I wished for miracle. That suddenly she grips my hand, frowns a little bit, slowly opens her eyes and wakes up from the coma. But that was too much to ask from God.

I remembered the time when I stayed with her in Kelantan to study for PMR over the long school holiday. I was trying to adjust myself with the environment, and got I got sick for almost one week. She took care of me. I remember sleeping with her; she woke up every night to wash me up so my temperature could go down. She was patiently waiting for me to consume my medicine (everybody knows that I take hours eat my ubat).

Maklong with my beloved cousin, whom was so strong during the last days. She takes after her mother.

I remembered I cried when I left Kelantan to go back to KL.

Alhamdulillah, sempat menunaikan haji

Now I had to leave her again. I wanted to stay one more night, but my brother couldn’t due to other commitments, and I could not let him drive alone. So I had to go with him. I didn’t want to say goodbye. I remembered crying my heart out next to her; I knew I couldn’t see her again. Reluctantly, we left.

During her last moments

The next day, she passed away dan selamat dikebumikan yesterday at 11pm. Alhamdulillah.

Leaving behind, a loving husband, and 7 children.

If only she knew how much I love her. Al-Fatihah to Maklong. Semoga roh mu dicucuri Allah dan semoga Maklong bahagia di sana.

Potong queue

It was a long queue at the payment counter at client’s (Etiqa) basement parking lot. I was with my friend and I had a feeling that everybody else there knew each other except us.


Then a guy behind me called up for me, “Amoi, boleh potong ka? Boleh potong ahh? Ini dari Maybank ni, head office tau”. I make donno lah, thought he was just kidding. But he really was pushing his luck. “Amoi, kasi potong laaa, you tau I dari Maybank ni tau”. (What’s so great about Maybank?)

I don’t normally like to be rude. I don’t even have the heart to scold the lady that took my parking spot many weeks back. But this time..I really had it. I answered, “So what if you dari Maybank? I am the auditor!” (What’s so great about auditor?) Tak kisah, yang penting dia terdiam.

Maybe dia ingat I am the auditor from Bank Negara. Ha...tau takut..

Nike running shoes

I bought this pair of shoes weeks ago. Or probably months back. Can't remember, it was new arrival at that time. Actually, my dad bought this for me. Guess he got me the wrong size.

So I am selling this if anybody is interested. Only had worne it 3 times (due to desperation). Its a nice pair of shoe, so sad that it is actually too big for me.

Size: UK 8, US 5.5

Going for RM 180

Please email me for any further queries
(SOLD)

SCKLM - my side of story

Everybody has been posting their interesting adventure on the marathon last Sunday. I have been very busy and plus, I didn’t have much adventure to share. I was only doing 10km run, nothing compared to 21k or 42k.

But what is different in this race…I GOT MY FIRST MEDAL..!!! hahah… poyo je lebih! Ekceli, everybody who managed to finish will get the medal! :p Not la because I finished within the time limit. But…who cares? The feeling of somebody placing the medal around your neck was like a different feeling altogether, like you have accomplished something proudly.



I must admit, that I didn’t take the race seriously. I know timing is not the reason for not doing any trainings, but my alasan this time is not only no time but also malas!

I thought registering for Subang 10k could at least become the momentum to start training for SCKLM, but….apa kan daya.. bola lebih penting.. huhu..

As Ali mentioned in the last post, we had bbq the night before ok. Ada ayam, kambing, nasi lemak, popiah, noodle, satay, sausages, roti burger…and I carried them with me throughout the race. Oh..sangat seksa. Perut buncit and it was bouncing bersama-sama dengan my pouch.

Sibuk pakai 'Breathe Right' sebab tengok semua orang pakai, without knowing the function :p

What made it special this race was because my bestfriend Dini registered the race with me, and it was her first time. Since I had zero trainings, don’t even remember the last race I joined, I told her that I would be damn slow. She said she had never joined any race, and she has stamina problem, cepat penat. So we vowed to run together.

NEVER TRUST PEOPLE WHEN THEY SAID THEY DON’T HAVE STAMINA!!!!!! We ran together the first km, but I was running real slow, almost brisk walking, but she was like jumping-jumping couldn’t wait to go faster. I told her to go, I will catch up. She refused at the beginning, probably because of the vow we made.. hahah.. After few times of persuading her to go, she reluctantly left me….and…I never saw her again.. hahah…

I thought I did slightly better than my previous 10k runs. I reached at the 4km mark at half an hour where I used to take 40 minutes to run 3km. The first water station was bad, I had to queue to get my drink. I started to run again. I didn’t see any familiar faces throughout the run.

My mistake this time was, I didn’t bother to study the route, and I couldn’t even gauge the distance. When I went up the Lake Garden at masjid Negara, and then I came out from the Lake area heading towards dataran, I thought I almost reach the finishing line. I pushed myself damn hard even at the upward hill. But I thought wrong. The route took the turning left at Bank Negara instead of right to Dataran. Oh..my leg was crying out loud and I couldn’t run anymore. Couldn’t even walk briskly. Jalan macam orang Jepun, with small steps all the way sampai Sogo, oh my!

At that point in time, I thought I was gonna ride the van. My leg was in pain, I was limping all the way to the finishing line. Was very frustrating to see all those that ran behind me took over at that point. Lesson learnt: Study your route. So you know when to push and when not to!

But I finished it anyway. Alhamdulillah.. Dini was 20 minutes ahead of me. Cool for a first timer.. congrats babe! So proud of you!

Congratulations to Ali, with the blisters, u managed to complete the run. To Ayman, u’re good as always. To the other 21k and 42k finishers… BIG TAHNIAH.. for all your PBs this round. Your will is my inspiration.

Painful SCKLM

The night before SCKLM we had a small bbq gathering and also watched the worldcup match between Uruguay and Korea Republic. As much as I anticipated the next morning run will be difficult because of the lamb overdose and perhaps lack of sleep I clearly overlooked this! I had a nasty blister at the bottom of my foot halfway through the run. I was reduced to walking from 9km onwards. I walked the rest of the race and bumped into Nurina 2.5km from the finish line and we walked/jog together towards the finish line.





A big congratulations to Ayman for finishing well for his half marathon and also the heroins of the day Miss Izrin and Miss Dini for finishing your races with finishers' medal.






apart from the finisher's medal, I got this as a souvenir for at least a week.

Note to self : dri fit socks is probably as important as dri fit tops / bottoms if not more.

Pics - courtesy of Izrin, Mr. ET Tey and SnapAttack