Today I went on emergency leave. My dad’s aunt passed away. For the first time in so many funerals I’ve been to, this was really agonizing. I actually cried while kissing allahyarhamah. I guess it is more touching if it’s a lady who passed away. You cannot imagine if it’s your mother. Your world will turn upside down.
In the car I was listening to this malay radio station. And suddenly this song came on air.
Kau disiram bayu pagi
Kehilangan terasa kini
Bagai purnama gerhana
Di ibarat lautan kering
Tiada tempat ku layarkan
Masih belum sempat
Kucurahkan rasa hati
Ku tatapi potret mu berulang kali
Kurenungkan kalimah yang diberi
Tuhan Yang Esa
Ampuni dosa ibu
Di antara kekasih kekasihMu
Oh! Ibu Kau kasih sejati
Sejak ku dilahirkan Hingga akhir hayatmu
Saat ini Kuteruskan hidup
Tanpa bersamamu ibu
The first time I listened to this song, I was really small. Small in age, small in size, small in everything.. So setakat nyanyi je la lagu Exist.
But now, when I’ve grown bigger (also in everything), I come to realize; it is more than just ‘Exist’. Listen to the lyrics, and you’ll feel it.
I know that I have hurt my mummy so many times, in a lot of ways. She is the only one who has to put up with my dad, my bro and me. And she is never tired of us.
Kadang-kadang, kita tak sedar percakapan kita ada buat our mothers terguris hati. Ustazah kata, sikit hati mak terguris, tak cium bau syurga.
Jangan sampai dah tak sempat nanti, baru nak menyesal, because by the time, it will be too late.. Too late to let her know that you didn’t mean to hurt her, too late to let her know that you are sorry, too late to let her know that you love her and always have.
So, friends, if your mothers are still alive, treasure them while you still can. Memang everybody knows how much they love their mothers.. Semua orang boleh cakap "mom is the best", "I love my mom so much and I will never do anything that will hurt her"..
Tapi sometimes, kita lupa, hari-hari kerja teruk, and kita lupa beritahu kita sayang, but we think it's normal. Or kita lalai, kita terlepas cakap and terkasar and we think it's normal..
Maybe what we can do now is, pergi kat dia or call them, ask for forgiveness untuk kesilapan-kesilapan yang kita tak pernah sedar.
And start fresh...