2nd baby: When I got to know

Let's just reminisce the day I found out I was pregnant.

We did plan to have our second baby anytime soon as we THOUGHT we were ready. Every month I constantly calculating my menstrual cycle and put notes on the calendar of the dates that I THOUGHT I should be ovulating. Unfortunately, we never had and never made time to try to conceive during those days. But I kept on calculating every month anyway. And kept on missing it.

I was late for two months. As what happened when I was pregnant with Iris. I missed my period for two months. But with Iris, I checked using the home test kit the first month and it was negative. It only came out as positive the second month. This time, I didn't bother to check the first month I missed my period, but I just tried the second time, without any hope at all because I knew we did not hit any of the ovulating dates. I tested simply because I had one extra kit at home and I thought..oh well.. just use it.

Its the second time, I still suck at reading the results. So it doesn't look negative, but the other line was unclear. I went to the nearest GP and tested my urine AGAIN, and this time supported by a doctor that I was pregnant. I made an appointment to see a gynae in SDMC. This time, I tried Dr Noraini because the earliest date to get Dr Siti (my previous gynae) was weeks after...so long I couldn't wait anymore. I got an appointment with Dr Noraini, she looks like Dr Siti though. But she was way too accommodating than Dr Siti, because you know Dr Siti has too many patients, she cannot afford to spend time talking to you and ask you how you were feeling.

But Dr Noraini actually spend some time while scanning to tell you what she thinks your womb or your baby looks like, and after scanning, she spend some time tell you what to do, what not to do, what to expect, and asked me if I had anything to ask. No rush.

This was my first scan.

She said I have a very nice round sac. Still cannot see the baby it was still really small. But we could hear his heartbeat. Although I missed two months period, the baby's size and the frequency of his heartbeat was actually just 6 weeks. Since I missed two months of period, they don't commensurate at all. So doctor was worried if the baby was under-developed.

Prescribed me with Duphaston to strengthen my womb and to prevent threatened abortion. She told me to stop breastfeeding my toddler and to come back and see her after 10 days to see the baby's growth. If the baby's growth suddenly spurt because of Duphaston, she would conclude that the baby didn't grow well because of breastfeeding. But if the growth is stable and showing 7 weeks of size, then there is nothing wrong, the first month I missed my period was supposed to be negative, just like when I was with Iris.

After 10 days, the result was as the latter. So I didn't need to continue with Duphaston, my womb was alright, and doctor said I could still breastfeed but it is a risk that I had to take. Not everybody can breastfeed while pregnant because breastfeeding brings a different hormone that pregnancy don't need and it will supress the hormone that pregnancy needs. But then again, you see and hear a lot of people even manage to tandem nurse their toddler and baby. But it is an individual risk, and it depends on your body.

So I continued to breastfeed Iris on the grounds that my milk is not her ONLY source of food. She eats a lot of solids and she drinks formula milk too during the day, so she only needs me for comfort and little bit of milk from my body insyaAllah won't harm me and my baby. Our body is smart and it knows when to stop producing milk when you are pregnant. I realise now my body produces very little milk, will not be enough to keep her full. Because sometimes while breastfeeding, she suddenly ask for her bottle because she knows she is not getting enough from me. And after drinking from the bottle, she continued for my breast. That is my little boobie monster, cant get enough of my breasts.

But I do not intend to tandem nurse both baby and Iris. I think it is individual preference. As for me, if God permits I want it to be exclusive for the baby. I don't want Iris to be getting all the milk, because obviously she is the smart one, and the baby for all you know can't even latch properly. And as a result, the toddler gets the milk, and when scarce, the baby has to be fed on formula milk. Happens to some of my friends. But others could be experiencing differently, with tandem nursing, and a lot of demand, you could be producing a lot of milk, who knows right. Again, it is individual preference.

I intend to stop Iris at 6 months-8 months of pregnancy. I will need my maid for that to help me take over Iris at night so she won't go looking for my breasts at night. InsyaAllah...semoga Allah permudahkan. Ameen.